Talk:When We Were Young (Adele song)/GA1
Appearance
GA Review
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 09:37, 16 September 2022 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
|
I will start on this today! --K. Peake 09:37, 16 September 2022 (UTC)
- Thank you for taking this! Very excited for this one.--NØ 11:11, 16 September 2022 (UTC)
Infobox and lead
[edit]- Dean Street Studios → Dean Street in the infobox per the usage of studios in the parameter of the same name
- WP:OVERLINK of Adele under songwriters
- Add a comma after third studio album
- "Adele and Tobias Jesso Jr. wrote it," → "Adele and Tobias Jesso Jr. wrote the song,"
- Mention how the song was written as the third sentence of the lead since this is notable here
- The release date is 22 January 2016 not 20 January
- Pipe ballad to Sentimental ballad
- ""When We Were Young" has piano instrumentation" → "it has piano instrumentation"
- "Inspired by the imagery" → "Inspired by the vision" or something similar since imagery is not appropriate here
- Re-word the sentence to mention the song reached the top 10 in 11 countries, including two or three notable ones
- Add a sentence afterwards mentioning notable certifications
- "The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and" → "The Ellen DeGeneres Show and"
Background and release
[edit]- Img looks good!
- "who had produced many songs" → "a producer of many songs"
- Add the release year of 21
- Remove overly obvious wikilink on Los Angeles
- She actually did work with Tobias Jesso Jr. so is writing expressed interest really the appropriate description?
- "and they spent almost three days" → "and they spent about three days" per the source
- Only "When We Were Young" is sourced as being created
- The house location is only sourced as in Los Angeles, not Brentwood
- "melodies and lyrics."" → "melodies and lyrics"." per MOS:QUOTE
- Pipe ballads to Sentimental ballad
- "and started a" → "and started creating a"
- "He thought it had" → "He thought the song had"
- Italicise The Fader
- "he pushed her beyond" → "he pushed Adele beyond"
- "cry to it."" → "cry to it"." per the source
- Italicise 60 Minutes
- "wondering what would be" → "questioning what would be"
- Pipe digital download to Music download
- "in some countries" → "in various countries" also, only one country is sourced
- "Its official artwork features" → "The official artwork features"
- "of her younger self."" → "of her younger self"."
- "called it "adorable,"" → "called it "adorable","
Composition and lyrical interpretation
[edit]- "sample of "When We Were Young"'s" → "sample of the song's" on the audio sample text
- "reminisces past memories" → "reminisces about past memories"
- "engineered the song, and plays" → "engineered the song and plays" per British English
- "synthesizer, and percussion." → "synthesizer and percussion." with the wikilink
- "plays the piano, and" → "plays the piano and"
- "It incorporates bass, drums, and guitar in its instrumentation, was" → "The song incorporates bass, drums and guitar in its instrumentation, was"
- "in London, and mixed at" → "in London and mixed at" with the pipe
- ""When We Were Young" is a" → "Musically, "When We Were Young" is a"
- Italicise i-D
- "considered it "a 70s styled shimmery disco ballad."" → "considered the song "a 70s styled shimmery disco ballad"." per MOS:QUOTE
- ""somber piano chords," which" → ""somber piano chords", which"
- "show off her staggering, empathic voice."" → "show off [Adele's] staggering, empathic voice"." per MOS:QUOTE
- "come-to-Jesus money note."" → "come-to-Jesus money note"."
- "Adele described it as" → "Adele described the song as"
- "to the work of Elton John, and" → "to the work of Elton John and"
- Not done as this makes it sound like "The Way We Were" was a duet between John and Streisand.
- Rest of the section soon!
- Done up to here! I've kept all the oxford commas. Unless you absolutely insist, I think combing through the article and removing them will be an unnecessary and tedious task. Regards.--NØ 15:48, 16 September 2022 (UTC)
- It looks good so far; I did some minor copy editing for you though.
- "The song "finds her" → "The song "finds [Adele]"
- "it's even over."" → "it's even over"."
- "in real time," singing:" → "in real time", singing:"
- "she cries about" → "Adele cries about"
- Italicise The Atlantic
- "who 'everybody loves.'"" → "who 'everybody loves'"."
- "In an interview with SiriusXM," → "In an interview with Sirius XM," with the wikilink
- "In a New York Times song by song analysis," → "In a song by song analysis by The New York Times," with the wikilink
- "off the album 25,[29] and later revealed that her" → "off 25,[29] and later revealed her"
- The lyric is not mentioned by the source
Critical reception
[edit]- Retitle to Reception per the rankings at the end
- "received acclaim from music critics." → "was met with acclaim from music critics."
- AllMusic should not be italicised
- "with its nostalgic theme." → "with the nostalgic theme."
- Pipe Consequence of Sound to Consequence (publication)
- "selected it as" → "selected the song as"
- "positive about her writing skills," → "positive about Adele's writing skills,"
- Pipe Inquirer to Philippine Daily Inquirer
- "remarked that "a single" → "remarked, "A single"
- Pipe The Huffington Post to HuffPost
- "singers alive today"." → "singers alive today."" per MOS:QUOTE on full sentences
- "midlife crisis—that won't" → "midlife crisis. That won't" per the source's usage of sentences
- Too much reviewer introductions using of here; try to vary with introductions like from instead at points
- "praised her "incredible," → "praised Adele's "incredible,"
- "sultriness on the verses."" → "sultriness on the verses"."
- "blossom of Adele's voice."" → "blossom of Adele's voice"."
- "it a "mature [...] torchy ballad,"" → "the song a "mature [...] torchy ballad","
- "perform in her sleep."" → "perform in her sleep"."
- "of PopMatters was praiseful, naming it" → "of PopMatters was praiseful, naming the song"
- "25 is worth" → "25 is worth"
- Move the Time part to the start of the next para since that belongs with rankings
- Remove the several music critics part so the above can join this para
- I moved it to being the second sentence as I think that works as well.
- "as her fifth-best," → "as Adele's fifth-best,"
- "elaborated: "she spins" → "elaborated that "she spins"
- Wikilink The Guardian
Commercial performance
[edit]- Change to double platinum and mention that the certification was in the United Kingdom
- The official title of the award here is "2× Platinum", not double platinum.
- "It reached number 14" → "The song reached number 14"
- Should platinum really be capitalised?
- Yup, my explanation from the "Happier Than Ever" GAN applies here as well I suppose.
- "and earned a 5× Platinum" → "and earned a quintuple platinum" mentioning that this was in Canada
- Mention the charts the Australia and New Zealand positions were on as well as that the certifications were in the countries
- "and Gold in Belgium,[70] Mexico." → "and Gold in Belgium and Mexico." moving [70] to the end of the sentence, also should gold really be capitalised?
Live performances
[edit]- The Genting Arena performance is not mentioned in prose, so either write this out or use a different img
- "on 24 February 2016." → "on 24 February."
- Mention that the Glastonbury performance was part of the encore
- The tour name Adele Live 2016 is not sourced
Covers
[edit]- Retitle to Cover versions
- "her powerful vocals."" → "her powerful vocals"." per MOS:QUOTE
Credits and personnel
[edit]- Use
{{spaced ndash}}
so there is the right space between credits and personnel - Pipe backing vocals to Backing vocalist
- Pipe percussion to Percussion instrument
Charts
[edit]Weekly charts
[edit]- See MOS:TABLECAPTION for the second table
Year-end charts
[edit]- Pipe Plötutíóindi to Music of Iceland
Certifications
[edit]- Good
Release history
[edit]- None of these columns should be sortable
See also
[edit]- Pipe List of number-one dance singles of 2016 (U.S.) to List of Billboard Dance Club Songs number ones of 2016
References
[edit]- Copyvio score looks fairly good at 35.5%!
- Shouldn't Earone be cited as publisher instead on ref 13?
- Pipe Plugged In to Focus on the Family on ref 19
- Fix MOS:QWQ issues with refs 23 and 25
- Pipe Consequence of Sound to Consequence (publication) on refs 32 and 76, removing it from the title of the first ref
- Pipe Inquirer to Philippine Daily Inquirer on ref 34
- Pipe The Huffington Post to HuffPost on ref 35
- Ref 75 is missing a work/website/publisher; add whichever one is appropriate
- It seemed to point to Just Jared Jr. which has sketchy reliability so I have replaced this.
- Wikilink Rolling Stone on ref 83 and remove the Andy Black part
- Pipe Mahasz to Association of Hungarian Record Companies on ref 123
- Pipe Plötutíóindi to Music of Iceland on ref 124
External links
[edit]- Good
Final comments and verdict
[edit]On hold until all of the issues are fixed; this took just as long as I thought! --K. Peake 10:48, 17 September 2022 (UTC)
- Everything should be addressed now, K. Peake. Thanks a lot for the review and apologies for some of those source-text integrity issues in the Background section, I should've gone over that once before the nomination. Hope you have a great week!--NØ 12:15, 17 September 2022 (UTC)
- MaranoFan All good, apart from why is Andy Black still mentioned in ref 83 when that source says nothing about him? --K. Peake 07:12, 18 September 2022 (UTC)
- Kyle Peake Fixed now!--NØ 07:18, 18 September 2022 (UTC)
- ✓ Pass now, nice job on cleaning up this somewhat messy article! --K. Peake 08:13, 18 September 2022 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.